"I'm gonna have to shut down now"
"I was sexually abused three times by all three of my uncles. And after they opened that door to my world, every time I walked through the town centre a man would go by and touch me inappropriately."
"Of course I want to be there for my sons. Of course I wanted to be in their lives, but when you're in and out of hospital every two and a half years..."
"If I can do this for a whole year, then 'wow'. That's a massive achievement for myself. I've been consistent for something."
"But when your sons are over an age they can absorb what's going on... you know? Then it'll affect their mental health, wouldn't it? So I had to protect them, by them staying at their dad's...it was to protect them from mommy's instability, so they could have a stable life. [...] I wanted to keep their innocence as long as possible. I don't want them to wake up: 'oh mommy, why you're cutting your arms? Why is there blood everywhere?'"
"I couldn't tell my dad nothing. My dad always thought I'm brainy and smart. And I made my dad happy. Because my mom wouldn't believe it when I told her, so she rejected me. She slapped me and rejected me, and said 'no way' her brothers would do anything like that."
"The first uncle that abused me was in Bangladesh. I was six or seven or something like that. And then another uncle came to stay and he actually went further, because the first one [...] this uncle [...] me and everything."
"He was very handsome you see? 'Handsome people in this world have access to things that not-so-handsome people get' And then no one believed me [...] 'Why would he want to sexually abuse a child? He's a handsome guy. He can have any woman!'
Fucking monster."
"I don't want to journey all that far and then find that you're asleep."
"Just do me one favour, yeah? Let's not talk about anything deep but just talk about what's happening in the world and even then let's not talk about, like, all the deaths that's happened. Let's just talk about just general stuff, things that'll make us happy, so we can enjoy each other's company. Because you've come from a bad place and I'm coming from a bad place."
"About two years ago, after my suicide attempt, and I lost the plot, and my daughter went into care...my boyfriend at the time called the police, and I told him to give me some space because it was him who triggered me... so I kind of lost my head and I had my hair braded gold like that (points to a painting) ...I went off to Brighton and by the time I came back I found my door had been kicked down by the police and then locked up and I couldn't get in..."
...so I was homeless, I went to stay in with my boyfriend for a day...and then he made me paranoid, cuz he is paranoid and psychotic...and he kicked me out on the streets [...] I stayed at my boyfriend's one night and he kicks me out again, because he was totally psychotic at the time... and so I ended up not having anyone in London. I ended up back in Brighton and so I was homeless in Brighton."
